Apr 5, 2008

How to Avoid being 'Bridezilla'

Want to avoid awakening the Bridezilla in you on your wedding day?

Then consider these 10 tips. Categories by Allison Moir-Smith with explanations by Mickey

1. Plan on being overwhelmed. It is a scary, happy, wonderful life you are planning. But it is a whole great deal of "stuff" you need to concern yourself with, from Wedding Cakes to Which Veil is right. It can also feel like it is the bridal party against the world, and they seem to be winning. Everyone wants a piece of your time and everyone has twelve questions that need to be answered. You will stress, but if you plan on it, and take measures to remedy the situation you will be fine.

2. Diminish the effects of Bride Brain. In your non-wedding life, how do you react under extreme stress? Do you get weepy? Helpless? Neurotic? Angry? Clumsy? Obsessive? Forgetful? On your wedding day, these reactions will only be magnified – big time. If you get clumsy when nervous, stay away from glass and sharp objects. Don't drive. (No kidding!) Are you forgetful? Assume you can't complete even one simple task. Delegate. Do you lash out? If so, truthfully acknowledge this about yourself. What steps can you take to prevent bad bride behavior?

3. Enlist one solid girlfriend. Make sure you apply this to your wedding day. A girlfriend will not care where your mother's sister's third cousin is sitting. But she will help keep you calm and focused on the project at hand. She will be your lifeline and you will have a great day because of her.

4. Practice being overwhelmed. I said it. Practice. This can be accomplished in many ways, from trying to plan a weekend getaway in a matter of hours to going to your future mother-in-laws for dinner. The more practice you can get in this area the better you will be on your Wedding day.

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5. Connect with your fiancé. If you have a romantic man this will be easy and you will probably not have to find time for it. Make sure you continue to have alone time, and dates. This is great way to remember that no matter what stressful events are happening around you, you are not alone. Make sure you take time to say you love each other and appreciate each other.

6. Allow your wedding to take on a life of its own. Do your planning, but when the Big Day arrives, let your wedding be what it wants to be. This event can be planned but every situation can't be accounted for. Plan on living this day, not performing it. Life is fluid and on your Wedding Day you should sit back and enjoy everything you can.

7. Let go of perfectionism and be delighted by spontaneity. even if your DJ plays a Kenny G song during your cake cutting, go with it. Remember that you are surrounded by people who love you and know you would never have knowingly picked this song. Yell at the DJ tomorrow, but be happy today.

8. Be emotionally connected to yourself. It is possible to not float through your Wedding day. If you stay connected to yourself and those closest to you, you will be able to remember this day. After months of planning and years of dreaming, you don't want to only remember your Wedding based on photos and a video. Breathe, Relax and listen.

9. Create an image of the bride you want to be. Before your wedding, take some time to reflect and ask yourself, “What kind of bride to I want to be?” List adjectives, attributes, and behaviors. Is being serene of utmost importance? Or is having a rowdy, fun time? Ask yourself, what kind of bride do you want to be? What can you do to make that happen? Begin to imagine it now.

10. You are not alone. Remember there is a Man who loves you with all his heart. He asked you to marry him and you said yes. Remember that it is his wedding, too. Your man gets to make decisions too and if you let him, think of all the time you will get to stress over the things you care about. Let him help you and be invested. If you play the Bridezilla, you deserve the outcome. If you play the happy princess, you'll get what you want and everyone else will be happy to help you.

--Mickey

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