Modern Wedding Advice

Apr 5, 2008

How to Avoid being 'Bridezilla'

Want to avoid awakening the Bridezilla in you on your wedding day?

Then consider these 10 tips. Categories by Allison Moir-Smith with explanations by Mickey

1. Plan on being overwhelmed. It is a scary, happy, wonderful life you are planning. But it is a whole great deal of "stuff" you need to concern yourself with, from Wedding Cakes to Which Veil is right. It can also feel like it is the bridal party against the world, and they seem to be winning. Everyone wants a piece of your time and everyone has twelve questions that need to be answered. You will stress, but if you plan on it, and take measures to remedy the situation you will be fine.

2. Diminish the effects of Bride Brain. In your non-wedding life, how do you react under extreme stress? Do you get weepy? Helpless? Neurotic? Angry? Clumsy? Obsessive? Forgetful? On your wedding day, these reactions will only be magnified – big time. If you get clumsy when nervous, stay away from glass and sharp objects. Don't drive. (No kidding!) Are you forgetful? Assume you can't complete even one simple task. Delegate. Do you lash out? If so, truthfully acknowledge this about yourself. What steps can you take to prevent bad bride behavior?

3. Enlist one solid girlfriend. Make sure you apply this to your wedding day. A girlfriend will not care where your mother's sister's third cousin is sitting. But she will help keep you calm and focused on the project at hand. She will be your lifeline and you will have a great day because of her.

4. Practice being overwhelmed. I said it. Practice. This can be accomplished in many ways, from trying to plan a weekend getaway in a matter of hours to going to your future mother-in-laws for dinner. The more practice you can get in this area the better you will be on your Wedding day.

5. Connect with your fiancé. If you have a romantic man this will be easy and you will probably not have to find time for it. Make sure you continue to have alone time, and dates. This is great way to remember that no matter what stressful events are happening around you, you are not alone. Make sure you take time to say you love each other and appreciate each other.

6. Allow your wedding to take on a life of its own. Do your planning, but when the Big Day arrives, let your wedding be what it wants to be. This event can be planned but every situation can't be accounted for. Plan on living this day, not performing it. Life is fluid and on your Wedding Day you should sit back and enjoy everything you can.

7. Let go of perfectionism and be delighted by spontaneity. even if your DJ plays a Kenny G song during your cake cutting, go with it. Remember that you are surrounded by people who love you and know you would never have knowingly picked this song. Yell at the DJ tomorrow, but be happy today.

8. Be emotionally connected to yourself. It is possible to not float through your Wedding day. If you stay connected to yourself and those closest to you, you will be able to remember this day. After months of planning and years of dreaming, you don't want to only remember your Wedding based on photos and a video. Breathe, Relax and listen.

9. Create an image of the bride you want to be. Before your wedding, take some time to reflect and ask yourself, “What kind of bride to I want to be?” List adjectives, attributes, and behaviors. Is being serene of utmost importance? Or is having a rowdy, fun time? Ask yourself, what kind of bride do you want to be? What can you do to make that happen? Begin to imagine it now.

10. You are not alone. Remember there is a Man who loves you with all his heart. He asked you to marry him and you said yes. Remember that it is his wedding, too. Your man gets to make decisions too and if you let him, think of all the time you will get to stress over the things you care about. Let him help you and be invested. If you play the Bridezilla, you deserve the outcome. If you play the happy princess, you'll get what you want and everyone else will be happy to help you.

--Mickey

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Funny Wedding Vows

I originally found this article on About.com. This is simple the best wedding vows I have ever read. If you or anyone you know ever uses this, please send me the video...I have to see it.

From Marty Blase
Wedding Vows Inspired by Dr. Seuss

If you're getting married and you want to share your humorous side, you might consider using some funny wedding vows. For example, perhaps you could use the traditional vows, but include a line such as "I promise to always make your "favorite banana milkshake," or "I vow to split the difference on the thermostat," as Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston did when they married. Or, if you really want to make your guests laugh, consider writing a complete set of funny wedding vows, such as these inspired by Dr. Seuss.

Marty Blase, the author of these vows, writes: "My fiancee and I agreed a long time ago that we wanted to write our own wedding vows, and as a spur-of-the-moment idea, I suggested the following. To my disappointment, she didn't quite go for it..."

Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor & Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

Apr 3, 2008

Bride's Attire Checklist

Here's a Checklist of items to make sure you have ready to wear on your Wedding Day.

Wedding Gown- This will be what everyone ooh's and ahh's over, and the centerpiece of your outfit. Everything else will complement the dress. Decide whether you want formal or more casual, traditional white or ivory, or something modern with a bit of color.

Veil- There are many styles to choose from. Find a length and style that matches your dress style. If your dress has a splash of color, you can find a veil with a matching color trim.

Blusher- This is the part of the veil that covers your face as you walk up the aisle. Not everybody uses these now, but it's a great traditional look. This might be part of the veil, or it might be a second veil that's placed in your hair in front of the longer one.

Headpiece- This is your chance to wear a tiara. Find one you love.

Hair Pins (if needed)- Fancy hairpins can add a lot to your look. Find some with pearls, or ones that match your dress or just your personality. If everyone knows how much you love butterflies, why not have a few small silver butterflies worked into your hairdo.

Jewelry- Your groom may give you a gift of jewelry, so keep that in mind. Tell him ahead of time what you are planning on wearing. Pearls are a classic choice, but go as fancy or as simple as you like.

Gloves- If you choose to wear them, elbow-length white gloves are very classy.

Shoes- Make sure you can walk in your shoes. I've seen brides in white flip flops- I think that's a great idea. Make sure you wear your shoes at your dress fitting. They're going to be mostly covered by your dress, so don't stress too much about these. You're going to be standing a lot on the big day, dancing, walking around. You don't want terrible blisters for your honeymoon.

Wrap or Coat for winter months- A white velvet cape would be lovely, or a white faux fur wrap.

Small Handbag- Keep your essentials in here, such as lipstick, breath mints. You probably won't carry this for most of the day, but it is nice to have.

Petticoat/Slip- This is going to vary with the type of dress you have, but you will want something to go under the dress. The petticoat can add a lot of fullness to the skirt.

Bra/Lingerie- This is another thing to make sure you have with you for your dress fittings. Something supportive that doesn't peek out of the dress, that doesn't slip or fall, and that you can breathe in.

Hosiery- Don't forget to get some nice quality hose.

Garter- Don't forget to buy a garter if you wish to do a garter toss at the reception.

This is a good general checklist. Your needs may vary, but these are the basics of bridal attire.

-Minnie

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Apr 2, 2008

Bride's Guide

These Bride focused articles are put into order for your ease. Simply click the link to read the article.

Bridal Party Articles

Bridesmaids dresses don't have to be identical

Bridesmaids Luncheon

Involving Junior Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids Troubles?

Bridal Shower Games

Bridesmaids: Your Nearest and Dearest

Bridal Party Gifts

Bridal Party Duties

Bachelorette Party Ideas

Selecting Your Maid of Honor

Pertaining to your Wedding Attire

Wedding Gown Sleeve Options

Filene's Basemen Running of the Brides

Bride's Attire Checklist

Dress Shopping Dilemma

Wedding Dress Shopping Tips

Miscellaneous Advice

Should You Invite Children?

How to Avoid being a 'Bridezilla'

Remember Why You Said Yes

Making In-Laws Part of the family

Groom Isn't a Four Letter Word

A Wedding in 10 Days

Wedding Favors and Bridal Party Gifts

Bridal Party Gifts

Wedding Traditions and Customs

Perfect Wedding Cake

One of the most important days is a person's life is their Wedding. The Wedding Cake is perhaps one of the most symbolic items at your Wedding. Most guest won't remember what they ate at your Wedding, but they will recount every detail of your Wedding Cake.

You used to be able to wait four months before your Wedding to order your cake; That is perhaps foolhardy these days. If you are having your ceremony in one of the busy Wedding times, you don't want to be disappointed and find that the Cake Company is booked for the week of your Wedding. Some companies will take a deposit to hold your Cake, even if you don't pick the particular one. This is a good idea, especially if you know the company you are going to use.

Try unique combinations of Flavors and Icings. Unless you want the traditional "I had that cake at 'so an so's' Wedding last week" White Cake with vanilla icing or Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Icing.

Remember to call in advance and arrange a Cake Tasting. This is a great way to choose from an assortment of great combinations. Just remember, if you get stuck with a certain cake (whether pricing or timing) Is cake ever really bad?

Remember as much as your choice of Wedding Cake says something about you, it is also being enjoyed by many other people. Keep them in mind if you want to be remembered for being the caring person you are when not planning a wedding. They will thank you for it.

--Mickey

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A Splendid Wedding under $1000

During the excitement of the Wedding Planning process we sometimes forget that the most important part of the Wedding is the magical life two people are going to spend together after the Ceremony, and not the Party itself. So in light of that, here are some great ideas to make Marriage the focus of your wedding and accomplish it in the most inexpensive way possible.

Ceremony
Whether or not you are truly religious you can have a wedding ceremony take place at your local church. Most church fees can be waived for members of the congregation who are in need and truly want to be joined in Holy Matrimony. And even if you had to pay for the rental it is miniscule compared to the cost of a Ceremony site at a Reception Venue. Cost 0-350

Reception
Ask around your friends and families and search for the biggest house or yard and see if you can use it to have your reception at. You can have a buffet, set up a sound system and attach an Ipod or CD player. You don't need to even have too many tables. You can rent everything you need for 100 guests for under $300.

Wedding Cake
Make your own wedding cake. Simply buy an extra amount of frosting. Shop online for a cake topper and buy three different size cakes. Use toothpicks to stabilize each tier or pins. Add a piece of Cardboard over the Stabilizers and put the next size cake on. Use the extra frosting to cover the cardboard and getting some icing to detail the base of each layer. Add the Cake topper you found online. Voila instant Wedding Cake. All for under $100 and if you take your time or have an artistic friend it can look great.

Remember that if you have the money and WANT to spend it a Wedding can be as expensive as you want. If you are on a budget or realize the most important part is the actual Marriage then cut the items you don't need and insert some of these ideas, you will have a great wedding day either way.

--Mickey

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Apr 1, 2008

Choosing a Wedding Reading

Deciding upon the readings for your Wedding ceremony can be one of the most difficult decisions you have to make. Whether you decide on a Religious reading or something more sentimental you will find many choices at Modern Wedding Advice. Simply follow the links to the text of each reading.

Christian Wedding Readings

Non-Religious Readings

More Non-Traditional Wedding Readings

And here are some Sample Wedding Vows for you to consider for your wedding ceremony.

Sample Wedding Vows

Some inspirational Wedding themed Love Quotes
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Mar 31, 2008

2008 Wedding Planning Tips

Now that your are officially an engaged couple, you are starting to discover that Wedding Planning is not the most enjoyable part of your Wedding. Sure it does have its fun moments (Finding the Wedding Gown, Shopping for Rings) but mostly it is just a great deal of work. There are some tips to keep your eyes on the prize and maintain your sanity while planning the Wedding of your dreams.

Reality Check- The more options you look at the more you realize that it is possible to spend over one hundred thousand dollars on your Wedding. There are so many upgrades that will make your wedding perfect. Keep your budget in mind. If you can't afford a chocolate fountain don't look at them. If you are pretty sure no one will eat caviar don't order it. These seem simple but you need to keep your budget in mind at all times. Sure there are times when you can splurge, but you need to pick your moments and consider how that item will really effect the overall experience of your wedding.

Trust your Bridesmaids- If you spend your entire Wedding Planning process micromanaging ever last detail you will lose your mind, and quite possibly a few friends. Most ladies understand that you will be picking their dresses but if you pick every detail of their outfits, including lipstick color you will find that they don't want to go along with your decisions, and that will create resentments. These gals are your friends not your puppets and they will be more able to enjoy your wedding and add to the overall experience if they feel comfortable in the shoes.

Plus One's- You might feel the urge to allow your single friends to bring a date. I feel this can be a mistake. Not only will you jack up the Wedding bill, but you will never likely see these strangers again. The simple rule I use is- If they are engaged or married invite them- If they are in the Wedding party or extremely close to you, let them invite a friend- If they are likely a last minute addition, they can come alone.

Wedding Registry- Now the time you spend on your Wedding Registry is time well spent. Not only will you ensure you don't receive three toasters, you will also make it easier for your guest to buy you something they know you will like. Don't obsess but do take your time to make sure there are plenty of items on the Wedding Registry.

Rehearsal Dinner- This is a night for you to relax about details, you are after all planning most of the time the next day. If you allow your family to take on the responsibility of this night, you will find that your Wedding will go more smoothly.

Don't Stress the Parties- This goes for the Bride and Groom. Allow the trust that has built up between you extend to the Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties. These nights are basically out of your control and you have to trust he will come home because he prefers you to a girl named bambi- and she will absolutely not test the fireman's hose so relax.

These tips will help you relax and hopefully have the time of your life. Wedding Planning is stressful but you can rise above the fray if you take your time and always remember you have a partner in this and include each other in all decisions than you know it will truly be the first day of your lives together.

--Mickey

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Should You Invite Children?

This a problematic question for most couples planning their nuptials. Children can be a delight at a wedding or they can ruin a beautiful ceremony. It becomes a question of politics to many families and is therefore a true issue.

Pro's
-Children can bring a magic to any event that adults can never seem to match
-It is hard not to have your cute nieces and nephew come to join in the festivities
-Flower girls and Ring bearers are an essential to most couples
-Some important adult family members, will consider it a personal thank you to have their children at the Wedding

Con's

-Some Children don't tend to do long days well
-Some Children can tend to be noisy during the quiet solemn parts of a ceremony
-Some Parents might not come or will be mad if their children aren't invited (this is particularly bad if you invite some children but not all of them)

Ways around the dilemma

-Some reception sights will allow the use of a space to have the children, with hired supervision. You can hire a babysitter or two to watch all the kids.
-Some Parents will be willing to bring their kids to the reception and not the wedding ceremony, where if they are loud or misbehave it will not affect to many people.

So the question remains, but you can make it work. Remember that wedding you were invited too as a child and how much fun you had. Or remember how much it hurt that you weren't invited. Also think about the parents, they will want their children their far more than you will, but you love them all and you should make some strides to include as many as you can on this most happy day.

--Mickey

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Mar 30, 2008

Alternatives to Rice

The tradition of throwing rice to send off the newly married couple has gone by the wayside, due to its negative effect on birds and the difficulty of cleaning it up. Here are a few alternatives to consider:

Bubbles- Mini bottles of bubbles are extremely popular and easy to find at Wedding supply stores. A cloud of bubbles gives a whimsical atmosphere.

Bells- Have your guests ring small bells instead of throwing anything. They still get to do something celebratory, and it leaves no mess.

Flower petals- Toss flower petals instead of rice. This is a lovely, romantic option. Stay away from red rose petals, as they can stain clothes.

Bird Seed- A more environmentally friendly alternative to rice
Live Butterflies- Your guests can release live butterflies as you walk by. This can be a breathtaking sight.

Sparklers- Have your guests wave sparklers for a night Wedding. This is quite festive looking.

Be creative, and have fun.

--Minnie

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Bridesmaid's Luncheon

Your bridesmaids have done so much for you throughout the wedding planning process. They listen to you and offer moral support, they buy dresses and go to fittings, they probably plan a shower and a bachelorette party, perhaps help stuff invitations or assemble favors, and most importantly, they are standing up with you on your big day. A traditional way to thank them is to host a Bridesmaid's Luncheon.

Logistics will determine when you have the Bridesmaid's Luncheon- if everyone is local, you could have it several weeks before the Wedding. If your girls are coming from out of town, holding the luncheon close to the Wedding is also acceptable.

The Bridesmaid's Luncheon can be casual or formal, simple or not. Whatever fits your budget and personality. You could host it in your home, or at a restaurant or cafe. You provide a meal for your Bridesmaids, thank them for everything they have done for you, and tell them how much they mean to you, and then present them each with a gift. It does not need to be any more structured than that, it is a time for you to spend with your Bridesmaids and show your appreciation.

One tradition associated with the Bridesmaid's Luncheon is the serving of a pink cake. This pink cake, with its pink frosting, has a silver ring and ribbon baked inside. Good fortune awaits the girl who gets the piece of cake with the ring. Interpretations vary, but the standard is that she will be the next to marry. Other thoughts are that she will be lucky in love.

If you do not have a large bridal party, such as a maid of honor as your only attendant, it is acceptable to present her with a gift and thanks at the rehearsal dinner. It is in fact fairly common for the bridal party gifts to be presented at the rehearsal dinner, but the Bridesmaid's Luncheon is still a nice tradition.

--Minnie

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Alternatives to Wedding Videography

Wedding Videography can be too expensive for some couples. Or maybe the couple just doesn't think they'll ever watch the video, and it's not very high on their priority list. Here are some ideas that incorporate video of your Wedding Day without going all out to hire a Wedding Videographer.

Ask a friend to be your Videographer. If you already own a video camera, or have friends or family who do, you could ask someone to be your designated Videographer for the day. You could divide this task into different segments, asking several people to take turns taking video, so that they still get to enjoy the Wedding without worrying about the Video. If you are, or you have a friend who is, talented at editing videos, you can combine the footage of the day into one charming video.

Set up a camera on a tripod. Even if you don't already own a video camera, buying one (or two or even three!) can be much more affordable than hiring a videographer. Set up one or two stations at the reception, and ask someone to monitor the cameras. This is another instance where asking people to take turns would work well. The camera attendant would encourage guests to stop and offer congratulations or a personal message, or marriage advice if you would like to ask for that, as you start your new life as a married couple. This is a great opportunity for your guests to send you special messages that they might not otherwise be able to convey to you during your busy Wedding Day.

Set still photos to music on a DVD. Your Wedding Photographer may offer a DVD of your photographs as part of a package. You could also do this with candid photos from throughout the ceremony. If you leave disposable cameras on the tables at the reception, you are sure to get many interesting photographs of moments you weren't aware of at the time. A slideshow DVD with music that is meaningful to you is an excellent way to commemorate your Wedding Day.

Be creative with these options, and have fun. Whether or not you use video, this will be a very special day indeed, that you will remember for the rest of your life.

--Minnie

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