Groom isn't a Four Letter Word

Brides love their Grooms. So why is it that Grooms get no respect in the Wedding Planning Process? There is a stigma in most Wedding magazines and websites that grooms want nothing to do with the wedding planning process. Whether this perception is fair or is unjustified is a question worth asking.

Most brides initially try to have their grooms involved in the wedding planning process. This is only natural, for you two are not just planning a party, you are in fact planning a lifetime together. So when exactly is it that grooms take the wrong fork in the road? Could it be when they start reading the wedding planning books or magazines and pick up on all the innuendo (sometimes not so hidden), or is it when the wedding planner doesn't even remember the groom's name? There are many things a groom has to deal with during the planning process that the bride isn't even aware of. Even your friends and family will be disturbed if you mention what the groom wants if it contradicts something they figured you wanted.

At some point in the process every groom (some sooner then others) will decide that if his opinion isn't going to be considered it is probably just easier to let his bride plan the whole thing. Sometimes you hear a groom not caring about what flowers are at the wedding and think "Typical man"- maybe that isn't exactly fair- and if it is then shame on your groom.

A wedding should be planned by two people. There are compromises to be made and sometimes the groom won't get it his way, but sometimes the bride should cede to the groom as well . The forums today had a question from a bride about whether it would be okay for her to have a small wedding because the groom had a medical condition (fear of large crowds)- she was actually asking if it would be okay not to have the wedding size she wanted so he could also enjoy the day. I know most brides would never ask this question as the answer seems obvious to us, but after reading what most magazine say about the groom and his disinterest with your wedding, I can understand why she questioned even this decision.

The real reason for this article is to say the we here at Modern Wedding Advice will do our best to consider both Bride and Groom in all wedding advice. This is officially a groom safe area, where you can feel comfortable listening to Wedding Advice that is geared towards both of you having a fabulous wedding day. We will not bash grooms nor will we assume they don't care or matter. We like your groom as much as you do. We won't demand you include your groom in the planning process, we just won't show you how not to, either.

One last note to the grooms reading this: It is your wedding too, so if you don't care now, it's time to start. Your opinion matters, whether you believe it or not. If you think you don't have to help, shame on you. Grooms matter and your Bride will include you if you show interest. Most Grooms already do, but for you few who don't, help us get back on board the Wedding train, please.

--Mickey (and Minnie)

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