Mar 12, 2008

Remember Why You Said Yes

There are plenty of times during the early years a couple is together that the stress and pressure will seem insurmountable- especially during Wedding Planning. You are in the process, not only of planning a huge event in your life as a couple, but also merging two unique persons into one family unit. There can be resentments, trials and tribulations. There even might come a time when you feel you are making a cataclysmic mistake. Rest assured that this isn't the first time a couple has had to deal with this and there are some simple things you can do to prevent the break-up you might feel is the only solution.

Remember why you said yes (or asked) in the first place- This is a simple concept. Simply look back at the months and years that led you to that magic night where she said yes. Think about the good times you have had. Examine whether or not anything has really changed. Sometimes something has changed and you will feel you need to end this relationship before it goes too far. More likely though nothing has really changed. You are simply under intense pressure. Pressure is okay, just remember that you aren't alone and you are certainly loved.

Pre-Marriage Counseling- Maybe you feel that counseling is only for people who have been together for years and are trying to salvage what was once a happy marriage. Not so. You are transitioning into a lifestyle you probably no nothing about. If a marriage is truly worth having, it is definitely worth seeking help. Catholic Marriages require Pre-Cana, or marriage prep courses, as do many other religions. This is because they assume you don't know what you don't know. Even if religion isn't your cup of tea, don't overlook getting professional help. The adage "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" applies to relationships, too. Your Marriage is worth it.

Date Nights- Minnie has suggested you take time out of your busy lives which are now not just filled with work, but filled to the brim with Wedding planning, to spend together. This doesn't have to be get out of the house type dates; it can simply be relaxing together in front of a fire or playing a game. This allows you two to take a break and reconnect. This will help you remember why you are getting married in the first place. Because you like each other.

Don't go to bed MAD- Ever. This is a simple trick that will keep your relationship strong. It is harder to work out your problems if you take a break during an argument. It is easier to say sorry in the morning, without actually having solved the problem. This will lead to future arguments on the same subject. Yell, cry, argue. Walk away and come back, think things through, listen- but make sure you deal with the problem at hand before it becomes a resentment you let fester and ultimately kill the relationship.

Be affectionate- This isn't just about love-making. It is about telling each other how much you love each other. It is about sneaking kisses at the florists. It is about hugging each other and bringing home flowers. This is the cornerstone of your relationship and should be continually fed.

I am sure there are other ways of making a relationship stronger. Truthfulness and love aren't all there is but they do make everything else seem a little easier. Once the Wedding planning is over and the first anniversary is over you will be closer. Just give yourselves the chance you deserve and set yourselves up with a plan to deal with the stress of change.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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