Mar 12, 2008

Wedding Invitations for Difficult Guests

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just get along? At least to put aside our differences for one important day? Sometimes that is tough to do. You may cringe when thinking about the divorced couple, or the feuding siblings, that will both be in attendance at your Wedding. Or maybe there's a relative who always points out the areas of your life that are lacking, who doesn't like your fiance, or is just a plain old sourpuss. These are unfortunate scenarios, but they do exist. All you can do is make the best of it.

Modern Wedding Advice urges you not to snub family members except in extreme circumstances. If someone has committed a major offense against you or your fiance, then by all means, celebrate your day and don't feel guilty about not including them. But if it's a sourpuss aunt or a cousin who once snubbed you, excluding them will create bad blood that will last a long time. Invite them, and ask someone close to them (their child or spouse perhaps) to keep an eye on them, and play mediator if an issue arises. If there are two people who you fear will cause a scene, seat them at opposite sides of the reception, and inform the ushers not to seat them near each other at the ceremony. Say hello and thank you for coming when you see them. Grin and bear it, and remember that they can't ruin your perfect day. You're doing the noble thing by rising above your differences, and you don't have to give them any more thought than that.

One thing to keep in mind is that including one family member and not another can cause a lot of tension. If you have a very large family, or a very small venue, this isn't as much of an issue. But if you're having 200 guests, and you include a cousin you like and his/her date, but you don't include that cousin's sister because you'd rather let your coworker bring a date, it could be an issue.

One way to get around having guests who just can't be in the same room together is to ask one to come to the ceremony and the other to come to the reception. If you have other guests who are only attending one part of the day, that makes this a viable option. The goal is to make the day as nice as possible for every body.


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