May 3, 2008

Are There 'Wedding Rules?'

If you have ever had the pleasure of an advice session by Mickey, you know I'm not a huge fan of "mindless" rules. Whenever I hear "That's the way it has to be done" I think of the answer heard so often during childhood: "Because I said so!" I am a big fan of getting what you want, within a structure that makes everyone happy. The following are not necessarily "rules," they are strong suggestions. All of the advice I offer is based on these principles.

Your Idea, Your Money- During your Wedding planning process, certain items will come up which you will feel you need, where others disagree. For example, you might not be able to picture a reception without a chocolate fountain, but your parents (who are footing the bill) feel it is a "waste of money"- Here you should come up with the money for the fountain on your own. The general suggestion is that if you insist on it, you should pay for it, unless others insist that they want to pay for it. This works both ways however- if people give you a gift of money to spend as you wish, it's a gift not a bribe.

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Assume Nothing
- When you assume people will do something that you think they should be doing, there's a lot of potential disappointment being set up. If a few guests haven't RSVP'd, (how rude!) and you absolutely need a head count, you can't assume what their response will be. Perhaps while planning you assume your parents will be paying for everything, so you don't ask. Then they never offer any money for the wedding. Why? Because you never asked.

Guests Come First- When considering all wedding plans, guest enjoyment should trump the couple's showboating. Think of the fact that you wouldn't be having a wedding celebration if your guests weren't important people in your lives, you would simply elope. Things to keep in mind: Guests like a space with a nice atmosphere, tasty food, good drinks, friendly folks, and every now and then a ride home if they might have had "too much" fun. You should try to plan a party they will enjoy, not only a reflection of you two as a couple. You would probably rather have guests who think "What a blast!" instead of "I get it. The conceptualization of twigs and fur is meant to symbolically reflect the happiness and ethics of a good relationship."

When offering Wedding Advice I try to use these suggestions as a starting point for all my answers. I feel they are simple to follow and leave room for personal expression as well as fun times.

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